Things strangers say when you’re pregnant

I’m not pregnant now. But, I was. Twice. I gained a lot of weight (50 lbs with my daughter, 40 lbs with my son). That was fun. I was sick for 16 weeks with Kelsey and 21 weeks with Colton. I looked like a house and felt miserable.

I was hopeful strangers would spare me the obvious – and instead of make comments, just let me pass by in peace. Here are some of my favorite things strangers said to me. And yes, these were all said. Promise.

Is this your first one?

That’s not too harmful. But it was my first one. And 9 times out of 10 the question that follows is: Do you know if it’s a boy or girl? At that point the conversation ends. It’s unusual because I just told a stranger the sex of my first unborn child (see: personal) and then I just walk away, never to speak to this person again.

When are you due?

This is always weird. This happened at the deli counter while I was buying meat. I told the guy that I was due in February (it was October) to which he proceeded with:

Are you sure it’s not twins?

Translation: You really have 4 more months to go lady. Here, double up on the meat. You need it. I find this comment totally insulting and no offense guys, but I got this comment with each pregnancy and each time it was a man who asked it.

They are easier in than out.

This is true. Oh, so true. But when you’re pregnant you want nothing more than to get that baby out because you can’t eat, sleep, breath! The baby literally takes over and your left walking around like a beached whale to which strangers remind you of every chance they get. See the question above.

Who’s your doctor?

Really, lady? I got this question from a lady who was walking next to me in the parking lot of PetSmart. I was buying dog food and she kindly helped me lift the bag into my car. Then, turned to me and asked. Who’s your doctor? Excuse me? Yes, I have a great doctor in Scottsdale if you’re interested. This was the weirdest comment yet because – while nice of her to offer – I’m pretty sure by 7 months along I have picked out a Gynecologist.

How long have you been married?

Then they start doing math in their heads. I sit in silence for a second, then jump in … we got pregnant a year after we were married. Ohhh … they said. Then, they smile. As if I have their stamp of approval. I got this question twice. Both times from other women.

Were you trying?

Was I trying to ….? Oh, have a baby. Yes, yes my husband and I were trying to have a baby. This was a planned pregnancy. Thank you for asking, person I don’t know.

Are you going to have a natural birth?

It’s other moms who ask this. Other moms who want to tell you about their labor story and their plans. It wouldn’t be terrible to ask, ya know – mom to mom – only, I wish I knew the person. But stranger moms asked this and I vowed never, never, never to ask someone this. I don’t care how many minutes ago we met.

How are you feeling?

This one I liked. Finally … someone who actually cares about how I’m feeling. Cares that I have shooting pains down my leg at night. Cares that I have been on Zofran for 21 weeks so I don’t vomit at work. Cares that I can’t fit into my seat at the movie theater. I could have hugged this person.

In summary …

If you find yourself in public staring at a pregnant woman, and you just can’t resist the urge to say something all you need to do is say this one simple thing:

Congratulations.

Then, swiftly walk away and leave her and her hormones alone. xo

A Love Note to Kelsey Jean

Her confidence and her personality are two of the most beautiful things about her. She shines when she enters a room. It’s like there is a spotlight following this girl. I know I’m her mom and moms are supposed to think the world of their children … but there is something about this girl. Something so remarkable.

She has the most powerful personality, laugh, smile, heart and that makes her an all-around beauty to me. She is my best friend and I could not vision my life without her. Nor would I want to.

She’s almost four years old (I can’t even …).  And I can still remember the day she was born like it was yesterday.  It’s like somehow you forget all about the pains of labor (until you’re about to do it again) but you remember so clearly exactly how you felt the moment your child was born.

When people ask me about my daughter, they all seem to ask the same question  “What’s your favorite age?” And my answer is always the same. This one.

KIDS kids KIDS

The Working Parent Hat: Sick Kids

working parents
Illustration: Natalie Dion

This is always a recipe for fun. This morning, Colton woke up with Croup and Kelsey said she wasn’t feeling well enough for school (at the time I thought she was just playing off of the attention that Colton was getting, turns out it’s the flu. How do I know? Puke. All over.).

Ryan and I immediately check our calendars. “I have conference calls from 1pm – 4pm,” I said. “Well, I have an 8am, 2pm and 3pm that I can’t miss,” he replies. As tempted as we were to “paper, rock, scissors” it. We ended up splitting the duties.

I took the morning, he came home in the afternoon. We both gave and took a little. And we both took our conference calls while the other one was bouncing and balancing between a sick baby and pukey toddler.

Everyone says “just plan ahead!”, “make sure you get up early and plan,” “set a schedule and everything will be so much easier.” I laugh at that. No matter how many white boards you have something always comes up. Kids get sick. Meetings get scheduled. Work travel happens.

I guess the only thing to do is to try to do it together. At least that’s what we’re finding out to work the best. We really haven’t cracked the case on how to cope with sick kids during the work week and today was new for us – as we’ve never had both kids sick at the same time before.

Hopefully tomorrow will bring better spirits all around. Night!

The Parenting Hat: Four Teeth Later

Almost nine months and four teeth later …he’s growing up right under our nose! He has literally slept through the night about six times since he’s been born (I know!). Ryan and I are dying over here. Have you ever been so tired that you felt sick? Us to.

But I think we are on the upswing because he’s got his two top and two bottom teeth. And if my memory serves me correctly, we shouldn’t expect any more for a while. This means sleeping through the night is going to happen any night now. Yep. Any. Night. Now.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERADo you see this teeth in this photo? The top ones? It’s so funny how different kids can be. Here is a photo flashback of Kelsey at 11 months old – the age she was when she started to cut her top two teeth. I think they look alike.

The Parenting Hat: Girls will be Girls

It’s something else having one of each. Colton is only 8 months old and already I can see the difference between boys and girls just by the way they play with toys.

Kelsey would analyze a baby toy. Hold it tight, and really try to figure out how it works. Same toy. And Colton eats it. Throws it across the room. And bangs it against another toy. It’s cool having one of each and being able to celebrate their differences.

But, don’t count Kelsey out just yet. She can climb a tree just as easy as the boys can. And she can do it in a dress! She’s more of a risk taker than her mom and I love that about her.

kidsmom blogmom blog

mom blog *Don’t worry. I was hovering down below just in case she fell. My husband doesn’t call me “helicopter mom” for nothing (although, when he starts making propeller noises around me, that gets kind of annoying). She’s my first-born. I’m totally allowed to hover.

The Mommy Hat: Building Blocks Together

Las Vegas had a lot of bright lights. But nothing is brighter and more intriguing to me than watching a little baby girl build a tower out of building blocks. Even though I had a blast living it up with 18 girls in Las Vegas, it was this girl who stole the show. She’s my world and I’m so happy (so so so happy) that I’m a mom. It’s the best gig out there.

The Daughter Hat: It’s a Day for Mothers!

Say it isn’t so! Moms were just like us before becoming mommies? Here are some photos of the woman I consider to be the most wonderful person on earth. And, some photos that prove that yes – my mother had a life before she had me. (i love you mamma: thanks for being you and for giving me the world! thanks for my crazy brothers, and thanks for loving daddy for 30+ years! kelsey, ryan and i will see you tonight!).

 

Happy Mother’s Day to your mother and those who are mothers. What a great day it is to remember (and thank and thank and thank) your mother for all of the sacrifice, love and understanding she has shown you throughout the years. And (for us girls) for teaching us how to curl our hair, shave our legs, say our prayers and live life to the fullest.
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