Ashley Richardson is someone I admire for many reasons. She’s smart, beautiful, loves God, owns her own event planning business and seems to have it all figured out. I would say, Ashley is a Magnificent Mom.
As a new mommy to a beautiful baby boy – and owner of the premier wedding planning company, Ashley Gain Weddings & Events, I just had to ask, “Do you have any advice for working moms?” She does and she was kind enough to share them with me. Here’s what Ashley has to say.
Name: Ashley Richardson
Occupation: Owner, Ashley Gain Wedding & Events
Mother to: Baby boy, Roman
Let me start by saying I have yet to master the whole “working mom” balance and I don’t believe I ever will. I’m not a family counselor, not a doctor, not a pastor. I don’t have the right answers to everything but I do know this … I am a mom. A working mom. A business owning working mom.
Most days are filled with successes and triumphs while the others aren’t. It would be completely unrealistic for me to say that if you follow my points of advice below you will become a master of leading the life as a working mommy. My hope is that it makes you feel “normal”, that no two moms are alike and there is never going to be a one-size-fits-all when it comes to parenting.
Malance:: Mommy Balance. Start everyday by writing out the top 10 things you want to get accomplished, both personally and professionally. I do it everyday. This helps you stay focused on that day’s “action” items and pulls you back in when the chaos of life starts spinning. My personal list rarely changes. It starts a little something like this::
1) Alone time with God
2) Alone time with Brad (my ah-maze-ing hubby)
3) Play time with Roman without distractions
4) Work Out (even if it is for 10 mins)
5) Alone time for myself (again, even if it is for 10 mins)
“I’m sorry Honey, what did you say?”:: It’s 8:30 at night. The little ones are in bed. You put on your pajamas, grab a glass of wine and sit on the couch. Along comes the iPad or iPhone. Out of habit you check your email, Facebook, Instagram or whichever social media app.
Your husband asks “How was your day?” and being so tuned out you didn’t even hear what he said. 5 minutes later you turn “I’m sorry honey, what did you say?” Due to the overwhelming amount of times that this was me I started a new rule that NO electronics came with us to the couch or bed. We don’t get time together like we used to so when we do we need to be focused on each other. Period.
God First, Husband Second, Baby Third:: Starting with a moral foundation assures everything else will fall into place no matter what. With God as my go-to I get to enjoy pouring into my husband. When he and I are happy it reflects into nearly every single thing I do, including our precious little boy Roman. When Roman is happy, mommy is happy, which makes dad happy and we ALL thank God!
You are not the only one who doesn’t have your $hit together:: I know what you are thinking “She mentions God in one paragraph and in the next she is cursing.” YEP. Sure did (well technically it’s a $ not an S). For this I need your attention.
EVERY MOM IS TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT. Staying at home, going to work full-time or part-time, having 2 kids, or 6 kids, volunteering or getting paid. IT DOES NOT MATTER. WHATEVER YOU DO IS HARDER BECAUSE YOU HAVE KIDDOS.
So don’t judge someone doing it different from you. Instead support, encourage, share your heart and admit your struggles because you just might make a new mommy friend or affirm a woman going through the same thing. This is tough work and it’s okay to admit it!
Dump the Mom Guilt:: I mean honestly. I get it. Your CEO is in town and your mom comes in this weekend so you had to drag little Johnnie to the store today instead of playing with him at home. You are running just to keep up. Do you know what kids need the most? Love, security and affirmation.
Quit beating yourself up because you didn’t have the time to sit on the floor for 16 hours playing with blocks and never turning on the TV. Life keeps going and you don’t have to feel guilty about it. For heaven’s sake take that guilt and turn it into extra hugs for your little one.
I am Still Ashley:: One of the reasons I work is because of how I want to raise my children. Let me preface:: I believe the most important job that God ever gave a woman was being a mom. Hands down. They are the priority. It is between you and God on how you raise your children.
For me personally, I have a TON of energy. So much that I can’t even watch a movie without having a pile of laundry to my left and my monthly crafting project to my right. I HAVE to have outlets to release it. Thus, I work and it makes me so happy (remember Happy Mommy, Happy Baby). Staying at home is not the right decision for me but I support my friends who quit their jobs to love on their cuddle bugs. And that is OKAY!
Show and Tell:: You know that feeling when someone tells you your little one is “so beautiful”. Your heart feels so full and you just can’t help but smile. It’s almost embarrassing because you want to just say “thank you” but your smile says, “I know”. Don’t be afraid to let the love of your family show, in and out of the work place.
Fill your desk up with pictures. Ask your nanny to send you photo updates of your little one throughout the day. Make it a point to let the people who work around you know that your family is number one.
Be proud of yourself. YOU are a working mommy.